| Q: | Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
|
| A: | We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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| Q: | Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
|
| A: | Depends how much you've been drinking.
|
| Q: | I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden)
|
| A: | Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
|
| Q: | Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )
|
| A: | What did your last slave die of?
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| Q: | Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )
|
| A: | A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
|
| Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
|
| ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
|
| Q: | Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )
|
| A: | Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
|
| Q: | Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
|
| A: | Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
|
| Q: | Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
|
| A: | You are a British politician, right?
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| Q: | Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
|
| A: | No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
|
| Milk is illegal.
|
| Q: | I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )
|
| A: | It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
|
| You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
|
| Q: | Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )
|
| A: | Only at Christmas. |
